we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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