Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize