he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.