He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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