I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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