turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
