im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
