When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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