He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
