Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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