sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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