It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
