apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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