I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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