The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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