shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
