Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
