It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
