I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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