Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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