ADVERTISEMENT

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

  Fav 17 4517 727

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack

  Fav 28 1196 4641

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

  Fav 58 1301 12576

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

  Fav 31 1275 3973

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?

  Fav 7 4501 1399

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.

  Fav 8 1303 3628

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd

  Fav 8 1603 2600

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.

  Fav 4 2292 1133

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

  Fav 5 1655 709

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie

  Fav 7 1497 652

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?

  Fav 0 593 975

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (573): View more from Missouri

  I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.

  Fav 5 1090 735

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.

  Fav 7 1720 673

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out

  Fav 2 651 518

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.

  Fav 1 23 58

  share tweet
  

Randomize