ADVERTISEMENT

• (419): View more from Ohio

  I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.

  Fav 1 1128 1170

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  ...this stays between you and me

  Fav 6 1379 2464

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now

  Fav 58 1585 13511

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.

  Fav 52 4693 1034

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.

  Fav 9 4567 1293

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

  Fav 16 5204 1426

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...

  Fav 5 3281 1010

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.

  Fav 12 2756 1054

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

  Fav 3 965 1044

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours

  Fav 3 1790 906

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter

  (323): View more from California

  yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake

  Fav 13 1167 1620

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (713): View more from Texas

  Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.

  Fav 5 1132 725

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.

  Fav 3 819 547

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?

  Fav 5 1245 587

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object

  Fav 2 761 414

  share tweet
  

Randomize