Texts From Last Night

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  (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.

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  (+61): yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4c5v
  Replies (27) Good night (834) Bad night (3802)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook

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  (312): spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook http://tfl.nu/0qwr
  Replies (26) Good night (773) Bad night (2913)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high

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  (785): turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high http://tfl.nu/v57y
  Replies (20) Good night (1435) Bad night (5260)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?

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  (512): Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it? http://tfl.nu/y99r
  Replies (14) Good night (991) Bad night (4238)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers

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  (508): but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers http://tfl.nu/9dwx
  Replies (1) Good night (2240) Bad night (906)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!

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  (303): hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you! http://tfl.nu/45j7
  Replies (7) Good night (3578) Bad night (835)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?

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  (617): The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow. (1-617): I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right? http://tfl.nu/ithm
  Replies (4) Good night (3143) Bad night (736)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.

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  (603): Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic. http://tfl.nu/b5pl
  Replies (2) Good night (1873) Bad night (587)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!

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  (281): She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave! http://tfl.nu/tzuo
  Replies (12) Good night (1014) Bad night (614)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.

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  (216): I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote. http://tfl.nu/863q
  Replies (6) Good night (788) Bad night (448)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?

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  (910): Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days? http://tfl.nu/vw91
  Replies (3) Good night (428) Bad night (524)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.

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  (402): He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before. http://tfl.nu/g8nu
  Replies (4) Good night (303) Bad night (637)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.

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  (405): Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking. http://tfl.nu/sqkf
  Replies (29) Good night (721) Bad night (443)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".

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  (440): My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted". http://tfl.nu/wdt8
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (242)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"

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  (713): If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in" http://tfl.nu/euzu
  Replies (8) Good night (545) Bad night (256)

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