Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.

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  (352): Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself. http://tfl.nu/hxa2
  Replies (5) Good night (1996) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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  (740): worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try. http://tfl.nu/d3im
  Replies (38) Good night (446) Bad night (4163) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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  (650): I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese http://tfl.nu/0g2e
  Replies (11) Good night (3109) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.

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  (562): I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day. http://tfl.nu/v32p
  Replies (10) Good night (1050) Bad night (4450) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.

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  (860): She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit. http://tfl.nu/aa9j
  Replies (20) Good night (7138) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.

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  (207): how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me. http://tfl.nu/s06p
  Replies (16) Good night (3557) Bad night (1877) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

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  (406): I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation. http://tfl.nu/zwu5
  Replies (7) Good night (483) Bad night (1337)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  How do you feel?

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.

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  (970): How do you feel? (1-970): Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again. http://tfl.nu/th8n
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (1350) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.

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  (703): I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face. http://tfl.nu/cgkz
  Replies (16) Good night (586) Bad night (2678) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.

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  (918): If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off. http://tfl.nu/c8gb
  Replies (7) Good night (892) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?

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  (859): Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed? http://tfl.nu/3iaa
  Replies (7) Good night (274) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.

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  (479): PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies. http://tfl.nu/q44j
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (200)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"

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  (651): Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?" http://tfl.nu/vsfp
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out

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  (613): Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out http://tfl.nu/hcl3
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (83) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.

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  (925): She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking. http://tfl.nu/98oz
  Replies (4) Good night (149) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt

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