watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.