This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
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Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?