Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
