69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize