look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
