i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
