hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
