i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
