Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
