I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
