I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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