Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
id be glad to
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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