I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize