and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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