Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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