dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
