you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
