Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
