i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
