She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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