I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you had me at cake vodka
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
