i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
