talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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