Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
