Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
