I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
