This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
