At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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