You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
