I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
