Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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