her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
