im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
