I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
