I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Someone signed my nipple.
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