That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize