Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
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What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
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What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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