i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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