once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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