Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
