Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
