Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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