There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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